Bel 0800-0188
Gratis (en anoniem)
Chat met CSG
Gratis (en anoniem)

Ellen wishes to remain anonymous. The woman in this picture is not Ellen. Foto: Lilartsy

Ellen’s story

Ellen (28) was in the hands of a pimp from age 13 to 16 and again from age 18 to 22.


'My life is good again'

‘My parents thought I had too much sex with men. That was my mindset when I went into a shelter for victims of loverboys at age 16. I didn’t want to accept that I was a victim, that my own boyfriend sold me to other men all those years. He was my whole world, the man of my dreams. I was willing to do what he wanted. It took some time before I realised I was being abused. Oh my god… I felt fat and dirty, had to throw up and I cried a lot.

Taken back
After an intensive period in the shelter, I went back home to my parents. In hindsight, I should have moved somewhere else. When I want home alone one night after going out, I was pulled off my bike and taken back to my pimp. I was right back in the same situation. I was sold and abused all over again. To make sure I did what was asked of me, my pimp gave me drugs, GHB and speed. That’s how I became addicted.

‘All my loved ones suddenly appeared in my parents’ living room: an intervention’

The situation ended abruptly four years later when all my loved ones suddenly appeared in my parents’ living room: an intervention. One by one, my family and friends said I was no longer welcome if I didn’t leave that world. That was my wake-up call. It was now or never. I went straight to a rehab clinic and then into therapy. I had EMDR and psychomotor therapy (PMT), among others. I find it easy to talk, as long as it is not about anything serious. Then I shut down. With PMT you work a lot with movement, attachment and trust. Walking to someone with your eyes closed, for example, or falling backwards into someone’s arms. I hated it in the beginning. I thought, there’s no way I’m going to do that. But I persevered. Slowly but surely, I regained my trust in people. That enabled me to be open to healthy relationships.

Good life
My life is good again, with a boyfriend and two children. And I feel good. Of course I
have bad days, but who doesn’t? I deal with the situation very differently now. I can still feel awful about what happened, but I can live with it thanks to the therapy. I am the person I am now because of everything I went through.

Start recovery
I would like to say to anyone who has experienced sexual violence: start the recovery process, no matter how scary it seems. Seek help, get therapy. And do as many normal things as you can, like playing sports, being around people, finding a place in society. And keep faith in humanity. I thought no one could be trusted, that every man was bad, but that’s wrong. There is always someone who cares about you.’


After an unwanted sexual experience it is good that someone is there for the victim. Your support can make a difference. But what is the best thing to do? Check out our tips for loved ones.

Do you need help or advice?

Have you also experienced an unpleasant sexual experience and need help or advice?
Then contact the Sexual Assault Center. We are here for you!